conditioning curiousity

After having an STP break and going of to do other company work I found myself coming back with a confused body. Preparing my body and using it for other people’s work is a very different thing altogether than moving according to my needs and curiosities (STP) even though ‘other people’ still make use of my body as as an instrument with its own brain, as a person, a wholesome entity. However the line between preparing my body for someone else’s project and preparing it just for me, is distinct. The difference being that ST allows for my own curiosities to unfold without pressure of having to tick boxes and without trying to configure what other people deem a suitable body to fit their project or style. What happened today and produced an understanding of this situation is that I found myself executing boring ‘ticking the boxes’ warm up when i suddenly found myself sensing something that was interesting me and that I followed up. I caught onto a line of investment that sparked an excitement I had not felt for two months – feeling free to inquire, using and taking the space to move how I wanted to, not feeling judged, not framed in any way, just excited about a connection that I could sense and expand on.